Saturday, 30 January 2010

Ear bender


We love it when famous people with no real aptitude for music make records. When the famous person is the inter- nationally known mentalist Uri Geller, we’re approaching some sort of paranormal Nirvana.

Recorded in 1974 on the back of hundreds of bent spoons, stopped clocks and dangling cable cars, Geller’s LP is a remarkable audio document of a very unusual brain. Over syrupy New Age backing tracks and an inept choir, ex-paratrooper and male model Geller initiates us into the secrets of the cosmos, gently taking our hand and leading us to the very edge of the universe, an observation point where all is clear and nothing makes any sense.

Uri’s high and oddly accented voice is compelling, mesmerising, and incredibly creepy. At times the recording is so intimate that you’re unsure whether he’s trying to expand your mind or get into your underpants: either way the end result is a feeling of being gently, but still intrusively, probed. His lyrics are unspeakable; sadly, he speaks them.

Two ear bending examples from the self titled LP. The first, ‘Beyond Imagination’, is as profound as it gets, which is why - Uri - talks - so - slooowly. The second, ‘I Cannot Answer You’, is a heartfelt motivational number dedicated to 'your children's children and so on' where Uri raps over a mock baroque backing and a call and response choral group to migraine inducing effect.

Please don't ever play this back to back with a record called ‘Why Do People Have To Fight?’ by Fantasy Island celebrity midget Herve Villechaize - the only time I tried it I tore a hole in the space / time continuum and put myself into a diabetic coma.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Wittering

You blog is a genuine pleasure: it is so rare to resd something well written, funny and correctly punctuated; keep up the good work

Unmann-Wittering said...

Thanks, that's very kind - lots more coming up so please keep looking in.

David said...

I too enjoy correct punctuation. Sadly, I can't enjoy any of the musical links posted here, as I cleverly uninstalled some no-longer needed software from my PC, only to find that I actually, er, needed it to listen to stuff and that.

Shouldn't this heighten my sense of sight or something?

Anyway - as enjoyable as ever, even when on mute.

Unmann-Wittering said...

It's all downloadable, David. Get it sorted, you're getting left behind, old boy.

Thanks for your interest, I hope it's all as good as you imagine when you finally get to hear it.